Ben Cannon.
Questions?
Having recently performed oral sex for the first time in quite a while, I realized how out of practice I am. I think I have put more effort and research into this than any other area of my life.
AND I STILL REQUIRE MORE!
Anyone have any advice in the area?
shoutout to all the other ex-gifted & talented/honor student/straight a/senior editor/star student/99th percentile/once-creative burn-outs who have, since high school, realized they are truly miniscule fish in a giant, endless ocean, criticized themselves to the point of creative paralysis, and participated in so much self-sabotage they no longer see the point of doing anything at all because they’re just going to ruin it for themselves anyway
:)
this one’s for you
(via extraordinanna)
Man, I don’t know if I can do this Omegle cybersex thing anymore. Nobody is nearly as committed to the craft as I am.
I’m troubled.
mattishardcore asked: <3
| You're chatting with a random stranger. Say hello! | |
| You and the stranger both like Cum. | |
| Stranger is using Omegle's mobile Web site (omegle.com on a phone or tablet) | |
| You: | So I hear you like cum! |
| Stranger: | True st |
| You: | Giving or receiving? |
| Stranger: | Both >:) |
| You: | DANG IT. |
| You: | You have a penis, don't you? |
| Stranger: | No, I just have really massive tits |
| You: | Then how do you give cum? |
| Stranger: | Through my eyeballs |
| You: | What a glorious evolutionary gift! |
| You: | You should go on talk shows. |
| Stranger: | My awesomeness shaves the platinum cranium of the Chinas |
| Your conversational partner has disconnected. |
Question: How often are all of you sticking your fingers in your asses?
Answer: Not enough. Come on, guys, it’s 2013. You should all be constantly fingering yourselves in your respective asses. Get it together.
The angst in my soul is reaching middle school levels.
GOOD THING I HAVE THE DRESDEN DOLLS TO LISTEN TO!
The Magnolia soundtrack UNDERSTANDS MY LIFE.
Definitely just put on Usher’s Love In This Club to set the mood for masturbating.
I don’t know how to feel right now.
